If you’re alive and reading this you’ve experienced the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, and it’s not pleasant. Fear not my friends, we’ve been endowed with a superpower to counteract this dynamic duo – it’s called choice. Yes, you read it correctly, stop all that snickering and grumbling. We have the power to choose what we focus on and what we do. We can direct our attention and actions consciously and purposefully for our highest good.
conscious choice > helplessness + hopelessness
Ok, ok, I know when we’re feeling helpless and hopeless we feel stuck, and it can lead to anxiety or a depressed mood if we allow it to linger too long.
- First, admit that the feelings are there. Allow yourself to feel them completely and have a good cry if you need to because what you resist persists. Heck, even go to the “worst case scenario” in your mind; actually go through this horrible idea mentally so that you can see for yourself that it’s not the worst thing in the world, and that you can actually survive the imagined catastrophe if it happened, which it most likely will not.
- After all the emotional drama, pick yourself up off the floor, wash your face – better yet take a soothing shower or bath, drink and eat something healthy, and take a long nap.
- Next, spend some time remembering a situation where you were pleasantly surprised and relieved by a fortunate turn of events – you got what you wanted or needed just in the nick of time, it all worked out in your favor, or your hard work paid off handsomely. Remember how great it felt and how grateful you were and how you celebrated and was happy to tell anyone who’d listen. Remember the wonderful feelings and put yourself back in that mental and emotional place.
- Continue by choosing to focus on what’s good in your life and what you appreciate. Don’t allow this problematic situation to dominate your attention and dictate your actions.
- Then go do something simple that makes you feel good. No, no, no, don’t go do something that you’ll regret later and feel guilty about. Go for a nice walk in nature, watch a funny movie and laugh your butt off, listen to your favorite songs and sing along out loud while dancing like a maniac, treat yourself to your favorite cup of tea, coffee or hot chocolate, and drink it while cloud watching and humming your favorite tune.
- Be sure to try some meditation, mindfulness or deep breathing exercises. Once you’re calm you can listen to your intuition, that still, small voice within. It will naturally guide you towards the next right action to take.
Our intuition is always communicating with us, trying to lead us down the path for our highest good; but it speaks softly and quietly, and we can’t hear it over the commotion caused by these unwelcomed guests.
Mel’s Two Cents: Next time this dynamic duo pays you a visit remember that you get to choose how to handle them. Send them packing quickly by remembering to honor them as very temporary guests, practicing extreme self care, and proactively changing your mind and perspective about the situation. It’s your mind and your mood, so if you don’t like it choose to change it.
Until next time.
P.S. Here’s one of my favorite poems, quite apropos to our chat today. Enjoy!
The Guest House by Rumi
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honourably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
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