I find that we often spend too much time wallowing in disappointment, usually because we had strong feelings surrounding the person or situation.
1 : defeated in expectation or hope; 2 obsolete : not adequately equipped
When things don’t happen, or people don’t behave, the way we want or expect we feel disappointed. Then we stew in that feeling and make up horrible stories about why this happened, we can’t stop thinking and talking about it, we get into a funk and become crabby or sad, and this can go on and on for a long time.
Please STOP! Remember that the only thing you have control over is yourself. Stop trying to fix, change or improve someone else so that you can feel comfortable – let people be who they are. OK, so things didn’t turn out the way you expected or wanted – maybe it’s a blessing in disguise.
It’s ok to have strong feelings about people or circumstances, just don’t smother them to death or insist on a specific outcome or else… Maybe this is an opportunity for you to be an example to others – you know, that whole ‘be the change you want to see and experience’ thing. Remember how Dr. Martin Luther King handled his disappointment: he continued to speak his truth and share his vision in a loving, non-violent manner right to the bitter end; and we are still reaping the rewards of his actions to this day.
Mel’s Two Cents: If you feel disappointed, try this imagination exercise: Review the event and explicitly express your feelings; forgive the offending party, and yourself, and decide to let it go in peace while saying a blessing over all involved; then turn your attention to something you are grateful for or that brings you joy. Every time your mind wants to remind you what happened and how horrible it was – repeat this exercise until there is no longer an emotional charge.
Yeah, yeah, I know, it doesn’t feel easy to let things go sometimes but this exercise really has helped me to mend my control freak ways. I decided that a successful life for me is maintaining my peace and joy, and going with the flow. When you try to control things/people you become rigid, limited and short sighted. When you allow things/people to be what they are you open yourself to new ideas and opportunities.
Until next time.
Contact me for a free introductory consultation at firstname.lastname@example.org today!