People pleasing is passé

Hello Friends,

Have you ever noticed that sometimes when we try to please others, no matter what we do it doesn’t seem to work and then we feel like poop?

people pleaser
: someone or something that pleases or wants to please people
often : a person who has an emotional need to please others often at the expense of his or her own needs or desires

passé
1 : past one’s prime
2 a : outmoded; b : behind the times

That’s because our actions are most likely coming from a place of fear: trying to please others to gain attention, affection, approval or acceptance. In essence, we are trying to please another to get, or buy, love. This does not work and can leave us feeling like we are in a mental and emotional prison, wondering: when will it be my turn to be pleased?!

Mel’s Two Cents: I recommend pleasing yourself instead. Do what makes you feel good for yourself, instead of waiting for others to do it for you or give you permission. As you focus on loving and pleasing yourself, you naturally become more pleasing to others. AND IF it pleases you to please others, then by all means go ahead and bestow your kindness and generosity on others at will!

Until next time.

Mel