While we’re in Spring cleaning season, let’s chat a bit about forgiveness. Yep, I can see rolling of the eyes and hear huffing and puffing too. But Mel, you just don’t know what they did to me?!
I don’t care what they did to you, forgiveness is not for them, it’s for you. Anger, resentment or disappointment only hurts you, not the perpetrator of the allegedly horrendous act. Holding on to the pain means you are continuously reliving it, allowing it to cause mental and emotional anguish aka stress. We’ve all heard by now that stress creates dis-ease, a body that is not at ease. Why would you want to do that to yourself? Letting go of the pain does not mean that you forget or accept the transgression, it simply means that you are choosing not to allow it to continue to disturb your peace.
1 : to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) 2 a : to give up resentment of or claim to requital; b : to grant relief from payment of
Oh, and while you’re at it, don’t forget to forgive yourself. We all make mistakes but our mistakes do not define who we are, they are not our identity, they are simply choices we made that did not work out well. We can be our own worst critic and disciplinarian. Give yourself a break and choose differently next time. If you can apologize or make amends please do so and if you cannot, say a prayer or write a letter that you will later shred or burn as a way to purge the pain. Then go do something that brings you joy.
Mel’s Two Cents: Let it go already. Decide to no longer allow those that hurt you to continue to hurt you while they are probably having a great life not giving you or the situation a second thought. Life is short and there are lots of amazing adventures awaiting your undivided attention. Peace and joy are always an option, but you have to consciously choose to experience peace and joy instead of pain – you can’t have both at the same time.
Until next time.
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